Cyberbullying and Parental Protection of Children From It | Free Antivirus

Education of the XXI century is a continuous activity that can be realized by a person at various points in space (real and virtual) throughout his life. In a modern information society, a person will study, live and work in an environment of distributed tools, resources and users, solve ethical, legal, financial and other problems associated with the production and circulation of information in the global information network. [From the speech of the head of the information and computer department of the education department of the administration of the Vladimir region V.А. Vlasenko at the interregional seminar "Information security of minors: a dialogue between the state and civil society", January 30, 2013. - C.1.]

Naturally, children living in the 21st century, whether we like it or not, good or bad - we will not give assessments - receive information not only in an educational institution or educational organization / by Federal Law No. 273 "On Education in the Russian Federation" / but also on the Internet. And, of course, the task of adults, teachers and parents is to protect children from the dangers and negativity that are present in huge numbers on the Internet. 

The virtual world is fraught with many troubles, which our children, due to lack of knowledge and life experience, cannot cope with on their own. And the task of adults is to help children understand the vast sea of ​​negativity. And today I would like to talk about the role of parents in raising children and protecting children by parents from the "Internet" negativity. Of course, the socio-economic situation in society is such that less and fewer parents actually communicate with their children due to various reasons, sometimes beyond their control (lack of work at the place of residence of the family, single-parent families, dysfunctional families). But what can I say, and in prosperous families, the time of communication with children is dramatically reduced. And today we are increasingly talking about the institution of responsible motherhood, which is in a state of crisis. Nonetheless, 

“Parents (legal representatives) of underage students have a priority right to education and upbringing of children over all other persons. They are obliged to lay the foundations for the physical, moral and intellectual development of the child's personality ” [Art. 44, clause 1 of the Federal Law No. 273 "On education in the Russian Federation"] 

As you can see, parents are obliged to lay the foundations of moral and intellectual development in children. And we teachers are obliged to help them. What is helpful to parents in my opinion:

Informing the parental public about the dangers of the Internet.

Involving parents in participating in communication projects for the safe use of the Internet.

Perhaps psychological training with parents on the formation of trusting relationships between parents and children.

Distribution of brochures on the safe use of the Internet.

Creation of voluntary associations of parents whose children have suffered from cyberbullying (to share experiences and prevent this phenomenon).

It is possible to create voluntary initiative groups of parents who can help to safely use the Internet.

In any case, we adults cannot but react to the changes taking place in the information world. We must be ready for these changes ourselves and adapt to our children.

And now I would like to draw the attention of parents to a very terrible phenomenon - cyberbullying.

In youth slang, there is a verb of similar origin - to bull. Cyberbullying is often unjustifiably confused with mobbing, or mass bullying (from the mob - crowd), although in reality, the aggressive behaviour denoted by these two concepts has different socio-psychological mechanisms. 

How is cyberbullying different from regular bullying?

The most offensive situations most often occur in the form of a series of unpleasant incidents that take place, both in person and in cyberspace. Common intimidation is a confrontation in face-to-face communication and often face-to-face, using threats and physical violence. Cyberbullying, on the other hand, is practised electronically, and provocative materials can be quickly and widely disseminated in a continuous process involving many people.

Adults still give little thought to the dangers of widespread cyber-practice of their children, although the consequences of real cyberbullying are often heard: reports of peer trauma, suicide attempts and tragic deaths. Unfortunately, these cases are often accompanied by the helplessness of adults: "I can't imagine how this could have happened", "He was such a good boy ..." that we do not know enough even about actual bullying. And cyberbullying remains invisible, and the damage caused by it remains unrecognized. But quite real, despite the virtuality of this problem. 

So, cyberbullying is attacks to cause psychological harm, which is carried out through e-mail, instant messaging services, chats, social networks, websites, as well as through mobile communications. Such repeated aggressive behaviour is intended to harm a person and is based on an imbalance of power (physical strength, social status in a group). Usually, adult aggression directed at children is not considered bullying. 

Cyberbullying includes a whole spectrum of forms of behaviour, at the minimum pole of which some jokes are not taken seriously, and at the radical pole there is the psychological virtual terror that causes irreparable harm, leads to suicide and death. There is also the concept of bullying - the death of a victim as a result of bullying. 

Features of cyberbullying 

Cyberbullying is a form of harassment. Cyberbullying has some characteristics that make its consequences very serious. 

Cyberbullying affects the victim seven days a week, 24 hours a day, leaving no space or time for the person to feel protected. 

Cyberbullying attacks can be very painful and sudden. Since e-mails are very difficult to control and filter, the victim receives them unexpectedly, which leads to a strong psychological impact. 

The identity of the cyberbullying people remains anonymous. The child does not know who is pursuing him and tends to exaggerate the danger. The anonymity of the persecutors makes the impact of intimidation especially strong. 

Cyberbullying has the same effect on different generations. Both a teenager and, for example, a school teacher can become a victim of cyberbullying. 

Cyberbullying can be unintentional. Sometimes a member of a closed group or online community can make an unfortunate joke without intending to harm someone. His joke can be used by third parties to harass the victim. 

Cyberbullying is well documented. A feature that makes it possible to effectively combat this phenomenon is the fact that all acts of cyberbullying leave traces on the network, which can be documented and used as evidence. 

Cyberbullying technologies 

The following technologies and services are used for cyberbullying: 

Mobile connection. The phone can be used both for capturing photo and video images to discredit the victim and for delivering text and multimedia messages to the target of persecution. 

Instant messaging services. Popular services such as ICQ can also be used to send messages to the victim. Also, the victim's own account can be hacked and used to send defamatory messages to friends and family. 

Chats and forums. They can be used to send aggressive messages, as well as to disclose the anonymity of the owner of one of the accounts - the selected victim. Confidential, personal information may be posted on the pages of the forum for general discussion. 

Cyberbullying e-mail is used to send intimidating messages to the victim, including photos and videos, as well as letters containing viruses. Personal letters of the victim that are not intended to be widely publicized may also be published. 

Webcams. Used for video communication with the provocation of the victim, followed by the publication of the video. 

Social networks. Used to post intimidating and mocking comments, photos and videos. The victim's account can be blocked by a group of people, and massive complaints can be sent to it. It can be hacked to send defamatory messages on behalf of the victim. An account can also be created and used on behalf of the victim for defamatory activities. 

Video hosting services are used to post bullying or intimidating videos. 

Gaming sites and virtual gaming worlds. In addition to broad communication capabilities that allow posting messages in the same way as it is done on social networks, a group of people can deliberately harm the victim's playable character or even methodically kill this character, which also exerts serious psychological pressure. 

Bullying types 

Skirmishes, or flaming - an exchange of short emotional remarks between two or more people, usually takes place in public places on the Web. At first glance, flaming is a struggle between equals, but under certain conditions, it can turn into an unequal psychological terror. A surprise attack can cause strong emotional distress in the victim. 

Attacks, constant debilitating attacks - repeated offensive messages aimed at the victim (for example, hundreds of SMS to a mobile phone, constant calls), with an overload of personal communication channels. They are also found in chats and forums, in online games, this technology is most often used by griefers - a group of players with the goal not to win, but to destroy the gaming experience of other participants. 

Libel is the dissemination of offensive and false information. Text messages, photos, songs are often sexual in nature. Victims can be not only individual adolescents - sometimes mailing lists happen (“who is who at school”, “who sleeps with whom”), special “books for criticism” are created with jokes about classmates. 

Imposture, reincarnation in a certain person - the persecutor positions himself as a victim, using her password to access her account on social networks, blog, mail, instant messaging system, or creates her own account with a similar nickname and carries out negative communication on behalf of the victim. The organization of a "wave of feedback" occurs when provocative letters are sent from the victim's address to friends without her knowledge. 

Swindle, lure of confidential information and its dissemination - obtaining personal information and publishing it on the Internet or transferring it to those to whom it was not intended. 

Alienation (ostracism, isolation). Any person has a desire to be included in a group. Exclusion from the group is perceived as social death. The more a person is excluded from interaction, the worse he feels, and the more his self-esteem falls. In a virtual environment, this can lead to complete emotional destruction of the child. Online alienation is possible in any type of environment where password protection is used, a junk mail list or a friend list is generated. Cyber ​​ostracism also manifests itself in the absence of a response to instant messages or emails. 

Cyber ​​harassment is the covert tracking of a victim to organize an attack, beating, rape, etc. 

Happy Slapping (Happy Slapping) - the name comes from incidents in the English subway, where teenagers beat passers-by, while others recorded it on a cell phone camera. Now this name has stuck with any video recordings of real scenes of violence. 

The differences between cyberbullying and the traditional real are due to the peculiarities of the Internet environment: anonymity, the possibility of falsification, the presence of a huge audience, the ability to reach a victim anywhere and at any time. 

Real bullying is a situation in the schoolyard, where older or stronger children terrorize younger, weaker ones; it ends when the child comes home from school. Cyberbullying continues all the time: information and communication technologies are becoming an integral part of the life of modern adolescents, and it is impossible to hide from cyber attacks. Unlike real bullying, cyber-bullying does not require muscles or tall stature, but only technical means, time and the desire to terrorize someone. 

An anonymous enemy may remain unknown, then the victim is tormented by questions: why? Why me? Who is doing this to me? Victims of cyber-bullying are even more afraid than victims of real attacks, they are afraid to seek help from adults, as they fear additional punishment - deprivation of privileges to use a computer or mobile phone, which for many parents is a logical way out of such a situation. The fear of losing access to virtual space forces victims of cyber-bullying to hide their problem from adults. 

What adults can do to prevent cyberbullying, stop it or overcome its consequences

First of all, you should be attentive to your child and his virtual practices. Parents and children have different routes and preferences both in the media and on the Internet, however, unlike traffic rules, adults rarely tell children what to do and what not to do in the virtual world. Access to the virtual world requires regulation, the introduction of clear rules of use and clarification in what cases and what behaviour is considered normal and will be safe. An important element of parental control is the location of the computer in a common area (living room, kitchen), where, while doing their own business, adults can unobtrusively observe from time to time the child's reactions when he is on the Internet, and it will also be easier to control the time of working with the computer. ...You should carefully listen to the child's impressions of communicating with the new reality, get acquainted with the sites and technologies that it uses. Be vigilant if a child, after using the Internet or watching SMS messages, is upset, withdraws from communication with peers, if his school performance deteriorates. Track your child's online reputation by looking for their name on search engines. 

If your child is a victim of cyberbullying, it is necessary to preserve the evidence of this event. Make copies of received messages. Remain calm - you can scare your child even more with your violent reaction to what he has shown you. Emotional support is the main concern. You should not underestimate the importance of aggression against your child, but you should not scare either: you need to give the child confidence that the problem can be overcome. Never punish or restrict your child's actions in response to their confession. Talk to your child about the situation and listen carefully. Review the simplest security rules when using the Internet, give advice on how to further prevent cyberbullying. A one-time conversation will not be enough - media immunity, like biological immunity, is not formed once and for all but requires periodic renewal. 

Tips to overcome this problem

Don't rush to throw your negativity into cyberspace. Let the child consult with an adult before responding to aggressive messages. For older children, offer the rules: before writing and sending messages, you should calm down, appease anger, resentment, anger. 

Build your own online reputation, don't fall for the illusion of anonymity. Although cyberspace provides additional opportunities to feel free and relaxed thanks to anonymity, the child should know that there are ways to find out who is behind a certain nickname. And if incorrect actions in the virtual space lead to real harm, everything secret becomes apparent. The Internet records history, which consists of the public actions of participants and determines the online reputation of each - the accumulated image of personality in the eyes of other participants. It is easy to tarnish this reputation; it is difficult to fix it. 

Keep confirmation of the facts of attacks. If a child is very upset by a message, picture, video, etc., you should immediately contact their parents for advice, and older children should save or print the page themselves to consult with adults at a convenient time. 

Ignore a single negative. It is better to ignore one-off offensive messages - often cyber-bullying as a result of such behaviour stops at the initial stage. Experienced participants in Internet discussions adhere to the rule: "The best way to deal with inadequacies is to ignore." 

If you become an eyewitness to cyber-bullying, the correct behaviour would be: a) oppose the aggressor, let him know that his actions are evaluated negatively, b) support the victim - personally or in a public virtual space, provide her with emotional support, c) inform adults about the fact inappropriate behaviour in cyberspace. 

Block the aggressors. Instant messaging programs have the ability to block messages from specific addresses. A pause in communication often discourages the aggressor from continuing the bullying. 

Aggressive messages should not be ignored if messages from a sender unknown to you systematically contain threats or pornographic scenes. In this case, you should copy these messages and contact law enforcement officers. If offensive information is posted on the site, you should make a request to the administrator to remove it. 

Children whose parents are actively involved in their lives and have a positive influence are less at risk when using electronic technology and are also more prepared to fight back.

 Teach your child to get out of conflict situations. Advise your child never to electronically share information (private messages, photos, videos, etc.) with anyone that can easily fall into the wrong hands and damage their reputation.

What is the difference between sexting and cyberbullying?

Sexting is the sending of photographs or messages of a sexual nature that usually occurs between two people in a personal relationship. Sexting can be considered cyberbullying if such photographs are fraudulently obtained and then disseminated to damage the victim's reputation.

At what age do children start practising or being cyberbullying? Who does this happen to more often: boys or girls?

The beginning of the practice of cyberbullying is associated with an increase in the use of electronic technologies. Growing up, children begin to use mobile phones and therefore have the opportunity to access social networks. Cyberbullying is more common in high school, and in high school, it is more related to personal relationships.

Both boys and girls are involved in cyberbullying, but girls are more likely to be both bullies and victims.

What are the consequences of cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying can lead to emotional distress, depression, school violence and reluctance to go to school. Many adolescents who are involved in bullying - the bully or the victim - often already have difficulty communicating with others. A child's decision to commit suicide is rare and depends on many factors, however, sometimes cyber bullying can be the trigger.

If your child is the victim of bullying and bullying, make sure that your child receives consistent support from family, close friends, and school counsellors. Let your child do as much of the activity that interests him as possible.

How can you help a child who is a victim of online harassment?

Give the necessary advice and support, regardless of the age of the child. It is very important to involve the child in the conversation, but you need to respect his decision to deal with the problem on his own.

Encourage your child not to respond to insults right away. An angry, aggressive response in the heat of the moment can only exacerbate the situation. Encourage your child to keep the offensive material as evidence.

Here are some ways you and your child can respond to cyberbullying:

Calmly and firmly say stop. This is not a response to aggression, you just ask the person to stop. If this does not help even the second or third time, then try another method.

Leave the area where your child is being stalked or block a user who sends threats or insults.

Report the user to the site administrators. Most chatting sites have terms of use agreement that prohibits users from insulting each other.

Contact the abuser's parents and make it clear that the bullying must end. Submit electronic evidence. Try not to provoke a defensive reaction.

Ask for help from the school administration if there are cases of cyberbullying among students.

Contact a lawyer or the police if your child is in danger. A lawyer will help you with all the necessary legal procedures and the police will help you take action on threats of physical and/or sexual abuse.

How to help a child if he witnesses cyberbullying?

Invite your child to help the victim of bullying and discuss ways to help, such as providing emotional support to the victim, finding the courage to speak out openly against bullying and abuse, and talking about the problem to an adult who may intervene.

How can parents prevent their child from becoming a cyberbully?

Make it clear to your child that cyberbullying is bad and cruel, not cool at all. Emphasize that everyone around you should be treated with respect, including those who are perceived to be “different” in any way. Focus the child's attention on the thought that you need to treat people the way they would like to be treated.

As you can see, the danger exists, but there is an opportunity to overcome it together with the children. The main thing is to love your children and remember that we - parents - are their first helpers and protectors.

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